Why a motorcycle is better than a man

[sandalsweety]

Ok ladies, I found this to be hilarious. Warning: it isn't exactly

Reasons why a motorcycle is better than a man:

1. Doesn't ride with other girls while you are not looking
2. You can turn the pet**** off
3. Doesn't run for 5 minutes and quit
4. You are always on top.
5. You can have more than one motorcycle
6. If you kick it, it doesn't kick back :slap:
7. You only have to ride when you want to.
8. You can dress it and clean it anyway you want it and it doesn't complain
9. Doesn't care what other motorcycles you have ridden.
10. You alway finish first
11. Doesn't judge your friends
12. Doesn't get bored if you take it to hang out with your friends.
13. If some one steals it you can get a new one.
14. If it wears out you can get a new one.
15. Doesn't care how you look
16. Doesn't care how big your boobs are.
17. Doesn't care if you gained a little weight
18. Doesn't complain when you don't ride.
19. The exhaust is something you can handle. :fart:
20. It never developes spare tires
21. If it goes bald, you can change the tires.
22. Doesn't complain when you use protection
23. Can't get you pregnant or give you a disease if you don't use protection
24. Doesn't care what time of the month it is
25. Don't have in-law drama
26. You don't have to kick it to get it to do something. :nutkick:
27. You can choke a bike and it isn't a bad thing. :hammer:
28. You can ride it as long as you want without it going limp.
29. You don't have to drink to make it look appealing.:cheers:
30. Your motorcycle won't insult you.
31. If it smokes you can do something about it. :rasta:
32. It will always make you proud :steed:
33. A smooth motorcycle expects nothing in return
34. Your motorcycle will never make you late
35. You don't have to fake it.
36. Your motorcycle will not lie to you.
37. It will not poke you in the back in the morning when it wants to ride. :yawn:
38. It has a built-in vibrator.
39. The vibrations are better.
40. It won't shrink when it is cold :banana:
41. You don't have to cook for your motorcycle.
42. The motorcycle doesn't snore
43. Doesn't want you to swallow its liquid. :sick:
44. It is ok to use tie-downs with your motorcycle
45. Your motorcycle will never ask you to ride 2 up.

There you go, just a little comedy to brighten your days.

[flare]

Ok, I can't see this and let it go unchallenged.

Why motorcycles are better than WOMEN:

Motorcycles have an OFF switch.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
You can kick your motorcycle to wake it up.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
You know exactly how much your Motorcycle is going to take out of your checking account each month.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
Your Motorcycles don't care if you showed up late.
Your Motorcycle doesn't mind waiting outside while you go into a strip club.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
Your Motorcycle doesn't mind living in the garage.
Your Motorcycle won't get mad if pics of you riding it ends up on the internet.
You can always tell if your Motorcycle is turned on or not.
You don't have to give your Motorcycle a ring in order to get a ride. You don't even have to tell it you love it!
You can call your Motorcycle a hog and it won't get pissed.
You can bore and stroke it in public and it wouldn't care.
Your Motorcycle doesn't expect foreplay before a ride and doesn't want to snuggle afterwards.
Your Motorcycle won't get offended if you suggest bigger aftermarket headlights.
And lastly, if you get a new motorcycle you don't have to keep sending money to the old one!

[247BlackOut]

Why motorcycles are better than WOMEN:

You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.

I can't believe I just read all of that. :roflmao: Only one thing I didn't like about the women comment. You shouldn't be :cheers: while on a bike, or even after.:eek:

[flare]

come to think of it, the opposite might be true. lol...

[nocontrol]

Ah, but look at the symbolizm of it. What would happen if you were chugging down your neighborhood street, while sipping on a beer? If you've got the coordination, then nothing.
*Disclaimer: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. THIS IS MERELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT/ARGUMENT PURPOSES!!!!!*

Now, what would happen if you tried to "throw a leg" over your significant other, whilst sipping down on that fine grog? I dread to even bring up the outcome...