How do I get the wife to ride???

[Demigod]

My wife and I both bought 05 CBR 600RRs about a year ago. It was a first bike for both of us. We went through the MSF course, and have our license. The problem is that it seems that I have progressed alot faster than my wife. I have no problem hopping on the freeway and riding to my hearts content. My wife, on the other hand, is having a hard time getting used to the freeway, and is very reluctant to ride there. I am not sure if it is the speed, whether she thinks she is going to get run over, or what.

I question is if anyone have any suggestions on how I can get her more comfortable on the freeway. Riding the streets with her is really getting boring. Plus, it takes forever to get anywhere when we ride together.

Suggestions??

[Cliq]

Hmm....
I know it is cold right now but maybe you can take her for a ride @ night(or early monring) on the freeway she knows well. Or maybe take her to a deserted area and increase the speed a little. Let her become comfortable going fast. Take it slow and be safe!:)

[r6heina]

I just got my bike last month and actually have the opposite problem -- I like the freeways and dislike the streets. I'm afraid of stalling at every light even though since I've had my bike it's only happened a handful of times. Being a noob myself, I can't offer much advice other than practice, practice, practice. If she's down to cruise some weekend send me a pm. I'm looking for riders who aren't canyon/track ready to roll around with or are just simply up for a cruise.

[SilverRider]

You might want to take her to a track day. No better place to learn how your bike works than the track. There is so much less to worry about. Most trafic will be passing you and not coming at you. You can just focus on turning and braking. I learned a lot about my bike on the track. You feel safer driving at speeds that usually feel wrong on the busy roads. Once she has a day of getting to know her bike with no other distractions she might feel better when she has to deal with freeway traffic and speeds. Getting comfortable with the acceleration and braking of your bike is the first step. Then dealing with traffic will be much easier once that is accomplished. Try hitting the free way and letting her lead. When you need to pass traffic move first and block traffic so she can move on over. This way she won't have to worry about traffic sneakng up behind her. It takes time but with practice she will get used to it. My girlfrined is a little slow on the free way as well. She has been riding for over a year but has a very short commute to work (3 miles). Good luck with it all. Maybe we can cruise out some day with the ladies as it sounds like she might be the same pace as my girlfriend. We can go ride some mellow twisties.

[Irk]

She might feel more comfortable on a smaller more streetable bike. Let's be honest, the 600rr isn't exactly meant for cruisin. She's probably more than a bit intimidated by the bike, and that's not helping her keep up to your pace. In all honesty, even with 'the right' bike, she probably still won't keep up with you, your just going to have to slow it down some. I'm not trying to be sexist, but that's just the truth. Generally speaking women aren't as aggressive as men, and well, they have more common sense.

So it's really a combination of things you need to do. Look into getting her another bike. Let her ride at her own pace, but still push her a bit. Everyone learns at a different pace. You just don't want to push her so far that learning isn't fun anymore.

The only way to learn something is to do it. So get her in the saddle, and keep her riding.

Do look into another horse. An SV650 would do nicely.

[xiaoyin]

I'm a bit of a speed demon myself, but when I first got my license and bike and jumped on the freeway - it intimidated the hell out of me. I'd think I was going a good 70, look down, and be around the 60mph mark... :silenced:

A big factor of it for me was the bike itself - I was too new to have enough confidence that I'd be able to handle the fast, aggressive traffic on the freeway, especially going at those higher speeds...

I did a few things to help me get over the intimidation - I went with a friend to a big empty parking lot and just learned the basics over again - feathering the clutch, throttle control, etc. Then some light twisties (my friend took me over to Lomas Santa Fe... very gentle curves there, but you're really able to get a feel for the bike without worrying too much about traffic and whatnot). did a trackday (Femmoto, so not my own bike) which helped me focus on my actions as a rider on the bike without worrying about oncoming traffic and whatnot. Finally, did some night rides around some of the freeways that offer some interesting turns and off/onramps to make it fun, while there's light traffic and less intimidation.

Most of all, it's just getting in the seat time and trying new roads, turns, etc.. that help you learn your bike, as well as pick up new riding skills. It also helped me to have other girls around me that rode, to talk technique, roads, experiences, etc.

Hope that helps! :cheers:

[247BlackOut]

I'm not comfortable on the freeway unless I have someone else with me. Just too many cars, and such a high accident factor to consider. Try going somewhere where's there less traffic, or during some other time of day.

Maybe you can try riding behind her instead of in front? It makes lane changes a lot easier, and she wouldn't have to worry about being left behind, and can concentrate more on getting comfortable.

[nocontrol]

This is what I did with the G/F:

Ok, I already had 2 chatterboxes, but if you don't: GET THEM!!!!!!!

Always ride behind her, and coach her through every corner, in every situation. It'll make her feel safer that you're watching her back. Also, when you're on the freeway it helps for you to block lanes for her. Sure, it sucks slowing down a bit for her, but it's better you slow down to her pace than for her to catch up to yours before she's ready.

Get the chatterboxes. 400-600 dollars will be well spent. Also, if you're not to mechanically/electrically inclined, bring them over to my house and I'll install "push to talk" switches in the left hand controls because women can't seem to get the sensitivity right for the voice activation. Not a hater, because anything else in this world that revolves around sensitivity is a woman's forte. That's just the one thing we're good at.

Another suggestion: Don't push her. The more you push, the more she'll regress, to the point where you're making payments on a paper weight in the garage.:cheers:

[wanderer]

has the thought ever occurred to you that maybe she doesn't really want to ride and doesn't want to tell you for fear of you not understanding?

do NOT push her. i'd say let her get together with a few other girls to ride with and let her work on it in her own time.

a trackday? are you kidding me? this poor girl is afraid of going 65 let alone 120.

people ride for different reasons. her reasons may not be inline with YOUR reasons. she may have zero aspirations of ever wanting to push it on a bike but just enjoy a nice ride

[Nenna]

hm. i agree with wanderer. i agree with irk. i agree with xiaoyin.

so. wanderer is right. not every woman actually wants to ride her own motorcycle. and don't push her.

and irk is right. because, i started on an ex500, and even though i felt like i wanted a bigger bike relatively soon, i never would have started on anything bigger. i got to the point on the ex that i was having tons of fun, and i felt like i was really sharpening my skills and pushing the bike rather than the bike tossing me around. when i got a 750, it was totally the opposite sensation. i didn't feel like i was in control nearly as much. And on my 600... well, it's so tall i'm afraid to stop because when i stop wrong i fall over. and that's no fun. Basically, maybe trade in her 600rr for a 600r or an ex500 (i love the ex500 SO much!) Besides which, girls tend not to have the upper body strength that men do, and the way we control our bikes is different, especially at stops. Taller bikes are way more intimidating.

and then i agree with xiaoyin... cause even though i had some really great guys that didn't push me too hard or lead where i couldn't follow, it was still tons of fun to be on the track with a bunch of ladies and to meet up with them and figure out our riding issues together.

but remember what wanderer said. really.

[qdbike]

+1 for the Ex500. The 600rr is a great bike <3, but maybe too sensitive for someone who has not already learned to fine-tune themselves to riding just yet.
If another bike isn't in your scope, try slower group rides for more seat time. It helps to ride with more experienced people who set a good pace. Also, riding behind her is great for reducing the target fixation that I still sometimes get on the freeway ;)

[Irk]

Yes an ex500 would do nicely. A 250 would even be awesome. :guitar:

You've just gotta talk to her. Have a heart to heart. She might not even want to ride at all like wanderer said. But the only way to know is to ask. But be nice about it, she might be a bit stubborn about it and not let go :errf:

If you have the money, I'd almost just say buy a ninja 250 or 500 and stick it in the garage for Christmas. She might really love you for it. Or... she might really hate you for it. You know your wife better than we do. But it just sounds like at the moment that 600rr is not helping her. After a year now she should be fairly well adjusted and a decent rider. Something is wrong.

[CBRMANIMAL]

Take a road trip with her somewhere where there is no traffic.

[TreAdidas]

has the thought ever occurred to you that maybe she doesn't really want to ride and doesn't want to tell you for fear of you not understanding?

do NOT push her. i'd say let her get together with a few other girls to ride with and let her work on it in her own time.

a trackday? are you kidding me? this poor girl is afraid of going 65 let alone 120.

people ride for different reasons. her reasons may not be inline with YOUR reasons. she may have zero aspirations of ever wanting to push it on a bike but just enjoy a nice ride

I agree with this. If she lacks the desire to ride for herself, this is the seed of catastrophe.

My mother does this. She despises bikes. The problem is my dad, my little brother and I love them. So she'll ride on the back with my dad for the pure sake of being with her boys even though she's scared out of her mind the entire time.

Not saying this is your case and I may be way off kilter here, but it is worth bringing up. If this is not the case get her together with some of the girls. Maybe she just needs a change of company to chill out.

This is what I did with the G/F:

Ok, I already had 2 chatterboxes, but if you don't: GET THEM!!!!!!!

Always ride behind her, and coach her through every corner, in every situation. It'll make her feel safer that you're watching her back. Also, when you're on the freeway it helps for you to block lanes for her. Sure, it sucks slowing down a bit for her, but it's better you slow down to her pace than for her to catch up to yours before she's ready.

To each his own, but I think this is a bad idea. With motorcycles, as you're all acutely aware, if you take your mind off of what your doing for two seconds it will cost you. Sometimes it will cost you some butterflies in your stomach, sometimes it will cost you a trip to the hospital. That being said, I think chatterboxes are distracting. There is already way too much to think about while motorcycling. I'd be concerned that she'd be more preoccupied with "oh no I just did something wrong and i pissed him off," or "yeah that was awesome!" as opposed to paying attention to the next turn. I'd say make frequent stops and give suggestions.

[Demigod]

WOW.... I leave for a couple of days, and I come back to all of this great feedback.

First off.....Merry X-mas all. Now on to the issue at hand.

Well...not sure where to begin. Lets see, I think the thing that really caught my eye is that she may not want to ride and not want to tell me. Hmmm, that may be something that I should look into. However, the bikes were her idea! She did all of the research and picked out the bikes and everything. Could be that she may have bitten off more than she can chew, but I don't think that the bike is too big for her. She's 5'11, so its not physically too big. But maybe it has too much juice for a first bike. I did suggest trading it in on a smaller bike, and I caught all kinds of hell for that one. I think she thought that I was saying that she wasn't up to the bike she had.

I must admit that I made a HUGE mistake the first time that she tried the freeway. I lead. Last thing I told her before we hit the on-ramp was to "keep up your speed". That was the last I saw of her. I kept looking back and she was no where to be seen. So I got off on the next exit and she came along after a short time. Someone was being a d*ck and wouldn't let her merge, and it scared the sh*t out of her. Man, did I catch hell for that one. I got the whole "you left me!", and rightfully so. :errf:

We have been on the freeway since, and I did have the wisdom to let her lead that time. I thnk she did well, but she hasn't tried it since.

Okay, so now that we have established that I suck as a husband riding with his wife. I am going to try some of the helpful advise I have gotten here. Especially just encouraging her, and not "pushing" her.

Back to square one. Thanks for all of the input, and i'll let you all know how it goes!

:cool:

[Cyanide41]

I was intimidated by the freeway at first. Then one day, I had no choice. I HAD to take the freeway. Then I realized that it was no big deal and actually easier than the streets. I saw start off with small jaunts on the freeway and then work up. I say talk to her and find out what is it about the freeway that she does not like and what makes it more comfortable for her. Does she prefer to lead or follow, maybe take turns?

Just out of curiosity, how many miles does she have under her belt? I am guessing not to many. The more she rides, the better. Wether it be on the street, freeway, parking lot, whatever.

[wanderer]

Okay, so now that we have established that I suck as a husband riding with his wife. I am going to try some of the helpful advise I have gotten here. Especially just encouraging her, and not "pushing" her.

Back to square one. Thanks for all of the input, and i'll let you all know how it goes!

:cool:

don't beat yourself up on that one. i'll say this. a LOT of people know how to ride. that being said, a LOT of those people have NO business teaching or attempting to teach someone else how ride.

it's been my experience that the last person who should teach or "attempt" to teach someone to ride is significant other. there are too many barriers there for proper learning to happen in most cases.

get her hooked up with a couple girls and let THEM do THEIR thing and stay out of it while being supportive.

i've seen MANY people get into the sport who, after a short time, walked away from it and never looked back.

merry xmas!

[Lost]

it's been my experience that the last person who should teach or "attempt" to teach someone to ride is significant other. there are too many barriers there for proper learning to happen in most cases.



WORD!!

My wife is learning to ride and i am only being supportive, and that is it!!! I have had a private coach teach her the basics. She is taking her MSF this next week. Its really nice not having to worry about arguements and friction because of riding.

Garry and Dorthy Biddinger have a school called Socal Real Riders. He charges $20 an hour and provides the bike. He is a retired Police officer and ex military. One of the nicest guys you will meet even if he is pro cruizer!! :) His number is 760-533-0512. If your wife is interested give him a call and put it in his lap to deal with. If you do call him, let him know Aaron the Bank guy reffered ya, as i see him every day.

Also his email is SoCalRiders@aol.com and his website is www.SoCalRealRoders.com (http://www.SoCalRealRoders.com)



Good Luck!

[247BlackOut]

www.SoCalRealRiders.com (http://www.socalrealriders.com) :silenced:

That sounds like a good deal. And I agree with the significant other ordeal. Better to learn from someone else because you're not comfortable enough to get frustrated at them. =p

[sandalsweety]

Did she have time on the back of a motorcycle before learning herself? I found that if women feel more comfortable herself when learning to ride. It happend in my case and in my friends case. Maybe take her on the back of your bike so she can just get comfortable with the idea of going faster on the freeway.

As for the chatterbox idea...horrible idea. when I was learning the freeway and I had my chatterbox on listening to my ex tell me what to do was really distracting. And then I would have to tell him to shut the hell up and let me ride. We ended up getting separated because I was paying attention to him and not my riding. I was freaked out to say the least. It was my first time on the freeway.

I only finally got comfortable with the freeway after taking it at my own pace. Just give her time. If you push her she might get fed up and get rid of the bike all together.

[Cyanide41]

As for the chatterbox idea...horrible idea. when I was learning the freeway and I had my chatterbox on listening to my ex tell me what to do was really distracting. And then I would have to tell him to shut the hell up and let me ride. We ended up getting separated because I was paying attention to him and not my riding. I was freaked out to say the least. It was my first time on the freeway.


That would depend on how he was able to coach her and how she is able to use that coaching. I wouldn't say it's a horrible idea, it's just a horrible idea with some people.

[hypersport]

Take her to Keith Code www.superbikeschool.com Both of you should take it together. It's a great experience for both of you.

[TreAdidas]

it's been my experience that the last person who should teach or "attempt" to teach someone to ride is significant other. there are too many barriers there for proper learning to happen in most cases.

get her hooked up with a couple girls and let THEM do THEIR thing and stay out of it while being supportive. !

Great point. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. It's frustrating for both people.

Hey Demi... let us know how it goes!

[nocontrol]

That would depend on how he was able to coach her and how she is able to use that coaching. I wouldn't say it's a horrible idea, it's just a horrible idea with some people.
Yeah, long-drawn out conversations don't do well in coaching. Simple, one or two word vodes of encouragement help better than: "Honey, you've got to speed up, because I really don't feel like becoming a hood ornament on this Honda behind us." or: "Would you PLEASE look at the lane you're merging into and leave me some room, so I don't have to speed up around a butt-ton of cars to catch up?" "Sweety, the accelerator is on the right side of the bike" is also not a good way of keeping her on a bike... Of course neither is leaving her in the dust to fend for herself on the freeway.:cheers:

[h2o-girl]

I know this is a little old but I feel the need to add my 2 cents. So I started riding because although I loved riding on the back, it was all the trackdays that I spent sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun that started to wear on me.

So Tech picked me up a beater of an EX500 (perfect because I wasn't afraid to hurt it!). I started in the parking lots with Deno teaching me, NOT Sean! Then I did one around town ride. One slow Banner ride. Yup thats right folks! And then I was on the track!

Take her to the TRACK!! She can go however damn slow she wants!!!!!! Trust me! I got pulled over on the sighting lap because I was too slow and holding up the groups behind me. So I was a little embarassed yes, but I rode the whole day at my own slow pace and progressed fairly quickly. I now love going to the track and pretty much start out butt slow every time but get quicker in the very next session. It is a great place for me to learn because I can have experienced riders like Shaggy and Pulse and others watch me and give great advice! Shaggy even said he thought I could go faster and asked why I don't. I said its because I am having an awesome time riding at the speed I'm riding so why bother going faster!

So I say, take her to the track and always let her ride at her own pace!!

[bdmmotard]

Hey guys, I do private lessons, my site is www.dmvtestbike.com. I teach a lot of folks post msf, that just didn't feel like they got enough personal attention. I have drills that are designed solely to 1)get the rider having fun - the most important thing 2) gain confidence. I primarily focus on countersteering, target fixation, proper braking, and accident avoidence

+15 on the wrong bike. I do everything i can to get new students on a sv, gs500, ex, even a fz6, ANYTHING BUT A REPLIRACER! I see the before and after of this all the time. A recent student who did great in the lessons. he wanted a ducati so i recomended a monster. He picked up a 900ss and is struggling. Dropped it 2 times. It has very little to do with the size or weight, people focus on the wrong thing. The main thing is comfort, visibility, and leverage.

Put your wife on a sv650 and you will so a complete transformation. as far as a "slower" bike, let her know she'll actually be a faster/better rider. a fun day of dirt riding can do a lot for confidence as well. Track day is a excellent idea.

Here's the lessons bike, which is only used for closed course profesional purposes of course :lol:

[05GSXR600]

I know this is a little old but I feel the need to add my 2 cents. So I started riding because although I loved riding on the back, it was all the trackdays that I spent sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun that started to wear on me.

So Tech picked me up a beater of an EX500 (perfect because I wasn't afraid to hurt it!). I started in the parking lots with Deno teaching me, NOT Sean! Then I did one around town ride. One slow Banner ride. Yup thats right folks! And then I was on the track!

Take her to the TRACK!! She can go however damn slow she wants!!!!!! Trust me! I got pulled over on the sighting lap because I was too slow and holding up the groups behind me. So I was a little embarassed yes, but I rode the whole day at my own slow pace and progressed fairly quickly. I now love going to the track and pretty much start out butt slow every time but get quicker in the very next session. It is a great place for me to learn because I can have experienced riders like Shaggy and Pulse and others watch me and give great advice! Shaggy even said he thought I could go faster and asked why I don't. I said its because I am having an awesome time riding at the speed I'm riding so why bother going faster!

So I say, take her to the track and always let her ride at her own pace!!:clap: :bowdown:

I too have been watching and reading this thread; but, I couldn't have written this any better. My experience was almost the same......started out always on the back....got tired of that.....bought my own bike and took the MSF course......but knew that wasn't going to cut....did a track day and that still isn't enough...need to do more track days. Bottom line.....take her to track......it is a safe, control environment where she can learn at her own pace with no worries.

[Demigod]

Well, for those who don't know, I am the one who started this mess of a thread with my inept coaching of my wife's riding. In any case, my wife is back on the bike!! She has taken her bike out 3 days in a row for a good hour or two on each ride. The interesting part is that going without me. Now normally, that would have hurt my feelings :errf:, but I am just glad she hasn't decided to just park the bike. Maybe she'll let me ride with her again.

Thanks to all for the great advice i've gotten here. As for the last few posts I've read, it seems like its a track day or two that will get her a little more comfy on her bike. It was suggested a couple of times that she should try a different bike, but i tell you, she will no part of that. For better or for worse, she loves her 600RR.

I was glad to see that a few of the ladies have been reading along and giving their input. It is great to get their perspective. Thank you ladies!!

My only question now is where do I get info on track days?? I would really like for both of us to hit the track, but I know absolutely nothing about going to the track. Where are they? What equipment is required? Costs? Do you have to bring your own bike? Did I miss anything?

Thanks for the help in advance

Demigod

[Nenna]

well, she could go to femmoto with the rest of us!!! That would be awesome, but it's in October. www.femmoto.com. That way she doesn't need to bring her own bike. And it's great to see these incredibly fast women. All you have to bring is your suit, license, and... insurance? I can't remember. And you can come as her umbrella boy.

[xiaoyin]

+1 on Femmoto :thumbsup:

It's an awesome experience, and quite an inspiration to see all the instructors and other fast women riders. It was also quite a learning experience for me, having only had my bike a month or so by the time I went, being able to ride on a track, not having to worry about oncoming traffic, being able to see the lines people were taking around corners, finding my own line, and being dragged around by quite a few of the instructors. It really helped with my confidence in my riding itself, regardless of what bike I'm on, and helped me to find out what my limit was without really pushing it to the point of being scared.

All you need, if I recall correctly, is full leathers, boots, all the normal gear, and a motorcycle license. And for about $100/day, totally worth it :cheers:

[Cammie]

My only question now is where do I get info on track days?? I would really like for both of us to hit the track, but I know absolutely nothing about going to the track. Where are they? What equipment is required? Costs? Do you have to bring your own bike? Did I miss anything?

Thanks for the help in advance

Demigod

For a first time track day, I strongly recommend Todd and his group at CalSportbike TrackXperience: http://www.trackXperience.com

They cost a bit more than other organizations but they run two groups with 30 minute sessions, the price includes a Level one school and their instructors are great. I'll be riding with them at WSIR Big Track on 3/12. Send me a pm if you want to discuss the logistics of going to a track day.

[Demigod]

Thanks to everyone for your suggestions over the last few months! Well....My wife has decided that she simply doesn't like the bike. It is now for sale!! Anyone in the market for a '05 CBR600RR with only 550 miles? Mint condition, never been dropped, always garaged.

I'm not even sure what I can get for this bike. Anyone with suggestions on where I should price this? I could use the help.

Thanks

Demigod

[flare]

http://www.kbb.com/kbb/Motorcycles/Default.aspx

Kelly Blue Book retail value lists the bike in the $6700 range. Good luck!